Seriously??

Monday, I worked from home. I've left the wild beast to roam the homestead while I've gone to work before, but I didn't have any work that couldn't be done remotely so I figured I'd stay home and keep him company (and vice versa, of course).

That evening, I started on a lil' something for my partner in the swap I'm participating in through The Blog Hub group on Ravelry. If you've never heard of such a thing, it's kind of like doing a Secret Santa drawing, but in this case just for the fun of it. I'm not sure if my swap-ee reads my blog, so I'll refrain from revealing what it is for now (don't let the intrigue fool you, it's not that cool). It's a double-blind-esque swap, so the person I'm sending stuff to is not the person sending stuff to me. Mystery! This is my first swap, and I'm really enjoying it so far. I love to get stuff in the mail, and I like to try to find stuff that I think other people will get a kick out of.

One of my buddies successfully defended his doctoral thesis that morning, so naturally we had to go celebrate. I put my knitting supplies up onto the counter top that was theoretically out of the dog zone (aka the places that the beast can reach, the DZ for short). I had three different kinds of yarn and a circular needle.

I arrived back home a few hours later after several rounds of delicious burgers and brews to find a veritable explosion of yarn. This is the epicenter:


Here it goes, trailing into oblivion:


Sorry about the lousy photo, but it's not a brightly lit room. It's not like I'm going for the Photography Pulitzer here, you get the idea. This kind of thing was trailing off in every direction. Random sections of the yarn were crusted with dried slobber.

The yarn wasn't the only casualty:


So, I went through and trimmed out all the contaminated areas and tried to put everything back into three balls. I'm thinking that my object is just going to switch colors at random times, since the yarn is cotton and ergo can't be spit spliced back together. But, it was the strangest thing, one color of yarn that I was sure I had collected went missing.

Now, I'd planned on posting this yesterday, but Tuesday's beast escapades left me too sour to find the humor involved. After the events of the previous evening, I was concerned that Sammy was feeling bored and hence getting himself into trouble. I took him swimming that morning at a nearby WI state park, thinking that a super fun car ride + extra exercise + fun stuff to sniff would keep him satisfied through the four flippin' hours I was going to be gone. I loaded up a toy with food for him to coax out, and even left a bully stick to chew on.

I will not describe the crimes that were perpetrated against the carpet and the beast's own digestive system, because they are too repulsive for polite conversation. Suffice it to say that I was none too pleased when I arrived home from work. I don't even know where he found my US8 bamboo dpns, but four of them were destroyed and the fifth missing and presumed consumed. I didn't take any pictures of the carnage, because at this point I was mostly just trying to refrain from anything that would get Animal Control and/or charges of animal cruelty involved (kidding...mostly). And I still couldn't find that damn third color of yarn from the day before.

I spent the evening harumph-ing around. It's all fun and games until the handknits and bodily functions get involved. How was I supposed to know the DZ was ever-expanding? I thought we were making progress! And where the heck is that yarn?!

I finally noticed Sammy sitting happily in the recliner, chewing on a strand of something. Hey! There's the missing yarn! He willingly dropped it out of his mouth and wagged his behind. Good pup. Yeah, we're cool.